Personal Battle Grounds….. By L D Wright

  • Are you ready to be shocked, please read the following blog post. See a much larger picture piece itself together. This post reflects the daily battles so so many face, you’ll be astounded by the actual figures. This is not a story of love, probably one of the saddest reality checks you’ll receive today, maybe forever. Please read on. 
  • 40 million casualties in WW1, 17 million deaths become the result of a world conflict. WW2 sent approximately 80 million to their graves, be that through conflict or famine. In two global wars almost 100 Million Men , Women and Children lost their rights to life. That’s almost the combined lives of a country the size of Egypt being wiped from its history. Not forgetting wars past and ongoing conflicts continually adding to daily tallies. What you have just read is shocking enough but what follows next did not take a war to create but what it does share is the realistic truth someone you may know, knew or might one day read about. What you read next is factual, the numbers are shockingly horrific but statistically true. If you are effected by what you are about to read then you have my deepest apologies, if your personally dealing with any issues related to this blog post then I urge you to take steps, be that ring a friend, talk to your G.P or get in touch with an organisation such as, The Samaritans on 116 123 UK—or  1 (800) 273-TALK – USA

We are a combined growing world population of 7.8 billion coupled together through 4200 different religions, beliefs scattered over 195 countries, governed by laws that seemingly break regardless. In 1948 it took a deceleration of Human rights to protect our lives that still too this day continue to fail people all over the world.

Looking at today’s statistics you are more likely to be killed by yourself, suicide outnumbered homicide by over double, now that’s a frightening realisation. Just think about that for a couple of seconds longer because I’m sure you’ll be has shocked as I. Global loss of life through murder, terrorism or conflict is still massively outnumbered by suicide. We really are our own worst enemy.

Almost 800,000 people worldwide decide enough is enough for one reason or another yearly. What has this world become if for that figure of every day people to feel the only way out was to literally end their own life. In just one decade approximately 8 million people will have been born to finally become a self extinguished memory. That’s like saying a city the size of New York will simply empty its streets of human life, how frightening is that. Without a war erupting, without one single act of terrorism, 8 million lost souls will fall by their own demise.

I pointed out earlier there are approximately 4200 religions, beliefs spread far and wide through the many borders of our lands, I ask where was their God when they became so low, so lost, so abandoned that on their darkest of days they would draw their last breaths. What had their lives led them into for the inevitable would outweigh the breaths we or most take for granted. A sad world of lost souls.

I almost ventured towards those mind boggling numbers not too long ago. The mere fact that I was visiting the edges of a thought that was or could quite easily have sent me to a place of no escape. It was in those very thoughts, scary day dreamt visions that I also felt the grip of depression take a hold of my hand as if it was a friend. I know of so many people who have not been as lucky as I, who gave up on life and their demons led them away, in most cases I’ve known of, only the quietest cries for help were made, so silent infact their deaths came as such a saddened shock to the many left to contemplate their final decision.

Within the next 100 years of life, say we are all lucky and fortunate enough to not witness another war and not one human being loses their life to the billions of bullets which would undoubtedly spray the whole world or the tons of bombs, missiles or any other insane act of war does not destroy, wreck or kill there will still be an astonishing 800 million people who will simply cease their daily lives by committing suicide. Look at it this way the entire population the size of Europe would in the next century just disappear into the daily obituaries. How is this even possible.

It’s written in the bible that to commit suicide is to commit a sin. In some religions it is deemed an almost noble act, the price you must pay. God did not shine an intence light of deterrence, no voice of any description spoke wisely at that most needed moment. Is it that God would welcome you with open arms regardless or is it that those millions of lost souls will just pass away, simply turning to dust and fade. The ever growing army of the needy and wanting are a formidable force that undoubtedly need so much more than God, they need help to help themselves before they can no longer. More needs to be done before it is in fact way to late.

A life is so much more important than any bullet, our journeys more complete without slabs or borders. A life should be lived not lessened by depression or war for that matter, why should so many lose to a camouflaged assassin that lives right beside those we cherish. Why should so many fall on their personal battle grounds, This illness that resonates the very core of our families to become a coroners signature.



Lee David Wright

“Approximately every 40 seconds another person commits suicide, so whilst reading this post that next person is blowing out their own candle and saying goodbye to the world we are all part of”

I have a Question, Well I have a few….. By L D Wright

Is the soul our consciousness, is it our own separate entity that chose to share a life inside everyone of us. Does it leave when we no longer have the functionality, our eyes close and we float towards our next epic adventures.

Are angels glorious souls that earnt their superior right of flight. Are we all cocoons just awaiting evolution before we spread those multi coloured features & soar towards the next exciting stories. Does this game we call life only truly begin when we learn how to live without the need to survive.

Are ghosts just lost souls who weren’t ready to vacate this world, now wandering confused, second guessing next moves. Is there a light that shines like a beacon pointing the way to the next beautiful sequel. Do we pair up with the ones that left here before us, do our past ties interact like magnets connect us.

Does what we do in life reflect how far we rise, is there a limit to achievement, our mission, too strive, reach out. Is the universe endless and we all search in different directions, are we all adventurers,ancient astronauts, time traveller’s, we just haven’t worked out the coordinates. Did someone just reverse the process, press delete and simply left us. Is this why we’re so intent on travelling the cosmos. Is this ground our resting point we came to call earth. Is Déjà vu a life we just can’t remember but feels so much more than a little familiar, we gaze with blurred eyes of confusion.

Is God a caretaker, a scientist, are we the experiments created from an earth sized petri dish. Is Mother Nature related to each and every one of us, Why are we here, were do we go, well they’re the questions I’d like answers for.


Lee David Wright

Send answers on a postcard.

“I can’t believe we strive to survive & simply cease to exist”

Feelings behind my last post 5-2-Life…… by L D Wright

So last week I wrote a piece called 5-2-Life. I’m still not completely sure where it came from, I’ve never been to prison yet I continued to write, edit, think, publish.

I suppose over the last twenty years plus I’ve locked myself in my own cell. Of course I was able to go about my daily duties, work, family, home, I must admit I didn’t put 100%into either so I suppose it eventually unravels towards your very own yellowbbrick road and it’s there you’ll realise your lacks and needs. I said last year I’ve felt like I’ve served my very own sentence,locked in the confides of my mind, past and present, losing my children sent me to places I wouldn’t wish on anybody. Hell really can be a place on earth. So I suggest a person can infact spend a huge portion of their life locked in their own prison, this being their past.

I’ve read some literature about the world being a prison, after all 99.99% of us will never leave this spinning globe we call earth until we sadly close our eyes and our minds just drift into the echoes of someone else’s thoughts.

I have always wanted to write, my blog started it’s journey last March, I hadn’t really started writing until around October 2018 but 50+blog entries later I’m still writing. To those who have read my blog then you’ll have witnessed me at some of my lowest points. I started through writing my past issues, feelings of loss, anxiety and depression. It was almost like a cry for help, as my blog became my personal therapist I began to relive my past so much so that my depression fell into freefall, I was living with my past firmly gripping, upset, anger, frustration seem to erupt. I started the blog as a beacon to others only to realise I desperately needed to say OK enough is enough, I need help. Now I have broke down to those closest to me at times especially when dates are looming but other than that I have to admit I just kept my feelings bundled up inside my mind, a torturous process I urge none of us to try. The words that poured out into my blog attempts were infact how I’d felt not only during some of my hardest times but in the cold light of day how I was still feeling and living with. It’s just so easy to say yeah I’m OK, probably easier because you just can’t say well actually no I’m really stressed and struggling with something that happened over twenty plus years ago. I think the pain and upset was just to much to admit, even to myself let alone a second person.

Towards the end of 2019 I sought the help I’m hoping will actually help me. I’m currently opening up to a counsellor, my second visit being today so early days but atleast I’m allowing myself to work on Me. Yes I was, am apprehensive, a little hesitant but I’m just going to answer the questions asked, honestly, calmly and hopefully the outcome is a more productive and positive one.

It’s like having a book sat on its shelf and never turning the pages, who knows what journey those words will send you to, if we don’t help ourselves then we can’t expect others to. We are only human so please except from time to time we are going to need guidance. It’s not a weakness to ask for help.

I often hear people’s views, sad to say I also have ignorantly said on occasion, oh you’ll be ok, brushed it off and not truly listened. It’s a shame we sometimes don’t have the readly needed assurances or answers or even the lack of knowledge to support others.

Over the past three years I have lost three family members, found out my father has been diagnosed with Parkinsons disease, undergone a hernia operation and brought back some demons that literally did not help matters at all, you could say I’ve had a lot to deal with but I’m not dealing with my father’s illness in the we he himself is, I know he’s not going to wake up tomorrow miraculously cured and that hurts me, I often wonder what he’s actually feeling deep down inside. Is he now feeling as lost as I have also felt with this illness now determining his fate. We all have a constant line of issues. We all need to address and admit them. I was so unwilling to share mine but I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m worth more than a personal prison cell and I’m hoping that by letting my words and thoughts out not only do I help myself but I also tick someone else’s boxes and they, you also find what you need to do. There you go I’m prompting you to seek any help you need. Unfortunately I don’t possess the necessary skills to free you from whatever binds you but I do hope you take whatever steps you need to get to where you want to be.

It’s a simple process of firstly admitting you need help, secondly picking up a phone and calling your G.P or do what I did and find local help through a counsellor. If you find yourself writing or continuously thinking something is wrong then more often than not it usually is so do myself and yourself a favour and go start the ball rolling, you never know it could change your life. It’s definitely a step in the right direction.

Regards, Lee

5-2-Life… L D Wright

5 – 2 – Life…..

They say we are free yet we’re governed by the hierarchy, supply anarchy and feel your rebellion extinguish your guilty pleasures. No wonder there’s so many lawless stories, your only free if you abide to your establishments law and orders. The only time your completely free is when that button comes down and we press delete. No pause, no escape, once we enter our journey starts, what we do in between reflects the life we lead.I often wonder what makes them tick, greed, stupidity, gang related or just brought up with it. Rarely is it down to bad luck, it’s a choice. You swapped your memory for a bunk.
I’d rather do a 9 – 2 – 5 than serve 5- 2 -Life. Just imagine if good behaviour was your only saviour, Maybe you should have just  lived life different, chose another route,made a wiser move. Instead you swapped your home address for a 12×8, half that if your in the States.

10.3million held behind bars worldwide, scarey when you say that out loud. I know we’re not completely free to do whatever but I’d rather be looking in from the outside than peeping through the bars of a confined. 

Considering there’s approximately 536.000 lifers not forgetting the ones still hatching plans with the next convicts targets, there’s always double bunks  when that gavel downs you.
Why gamble with the freedom we achieve, we may be a slave to a wage but we didn’t swap our homes for a cage. I’d rather minus 39 from the 168 than live life behind lock and keys of a prison gate. Is it an ever rolling snowball that engulfs the ones they leave. The circle they belong to, their crime waves they call lifestyles. 

I personally couldn’t bare to hear those doors locked daily, to have my  privalages taken. To be away from family, simple things I take for granted. I think I’d loose the plot, completely go stir crazy.They say crime doesn’t pay, so you might reap a small fortune,  whatever poison your pushing , drive the latest motor, get caught watch it all seized, dissappear, enter the guilty plea,  holiday at Her Majesty’s Pleasure, Welcome to your local Penitentiaries. 
Get a job, it’s definitely a lot less hassle. Your choice, I’ve made mine, I’ll leave it with you, You decide. 
By, L D Wright

5 – 2 – Life
Rather write a sentence than serve one

Inside My Mind….. By L D Wright

Inside My Mind…..

So yesterday I freely opened up to a perfect stranger, now I’m not completely sure if this was the first time or are the words I’ve already wrote  my true witness.
Do the people who follow this blog count as an audience I relinquish my faults, my weakness, my thoughts, my history.
Writing became the therapist I invest in. Is it an A2Z of the journeys I’ve made, make, or yet to partake or do our paths cross because they’re the stories previously written. We haven’t  reached those chapters, those pages still lay unopened. Are we preprogrammed, make choices yet still end at the same outcome.
Have I sent myself to re-ab with the words I choose to write, Is this journal what I was meant to start, just took until now before I pressed send and now your reading the labyrinth from inside my mind.
They say we all have a book buried inside each and every one of us, did someone write it now we fall from those upturned pages, living out their words until we finally put the book back down again.

What I thought had sank decided to resurface, now I’ve got to write about a story that I honestly thought tried to leave me, it didn’t leave, I just forget which words to use and took a while to rearrange the pages.

My ink ran dry now my thumbs delve into the very realms, pressing the memories I find hard to let out. These icy cold reminders, thoughts thawing as I write them.

Currently there’s 129,864,880 books out there for you to feast your eyes upon so personally I’m not expecting any kind of Cult following, mines not even written yet but if you choose to read this blog then thanks, it’s all about me, my life, My Darkest Journal,Inside My Mind.
Lee David Wright

Part of the mainframe…..        By L D Wright

Part of the mainframe…..

Are we part of something so much larger. Are we billions of Alexas thumbs feeding our need to learn, seeking knowledge.

We face the disruption of the memories we lose like some computer generated virus has spread amongst our world. Viral, unstoppable commands reach out to us like implants wired deep inside our brain.

We search for missing data we lose along the way, analyse what’s given, hold onto what we’ve saved. Their attacks bite the random acts of man, no delete for the savagery they’ve shown.
We are programed with endless lists of data, some intertwined mixed emotions, unable to decipher. Some with messages, hidden files that float around the background. The broken links, unobtainable connection. Sorry but your data just expired, check your cables or contact your Internet provider.

Are we all hardwired yet some are given boundaries. Do we all become the programmed simply by pressing enter until we repeat the process to finally meet our maker. Have we compiled an ever growing novel, the Internet explorer, The World’s Largest Encyclopedia we all borrow.
Are we all linked to Google thanks to Larry Paige & Sergey Brin, Did Mark Zuckerberg join the dots just to see where we’ve all been.
These instruments we now bow down to like visiting The Queen.
Searching the confides of our history, the do and don’ts of social feeds. Are we friends of computer generated images, are we lost on the searches no longer with us. Are we nations of writers, likes and followers, do we need these apps like we desperately purchase appliances.
Do we now just sit and turn on lights, do keyboard warriors press send to simply start their fights. Are we all bugged by the WiFi connection, are we now living as one giant supersized computer, everyone pressing on into the future.
To say that the phone was once a tool we talked through. Now it’s an item we all seem to silently cling and daze into. Mr Alexander Bell must be looking down thinking wow, what have I created. Can we all press delete and start over. Are we the programs that last forever or does something else simply just take over.   

Have we become so A.I dependant we’ve transformed into skin covered carbon copied robots? Thanks to TimBL for plugging the world into all of us…..Send.
Lee David Wright

Peace on Earth….. By L D Wright

Peace on Earth…..

They march, on and on until they fall, replaced by another trigger until they also march no more. Governments send our young and brave, so many now not walking these streets. It’s a job  they loved but at the ultimate cost, sadly can’t replace a corpse.

I have nothing but respect for the ones that wear those berets, still a massive shame to see all those covered graves. Measured proud like they’re still on parade. A resting place with no carry on because they lost against another gun.

Their lost souls home and foreign soils, not trained to stop flying bullets.  I salute the fallen, I salute their family members who didn’t sign up for these savage reminders.

  Our brave warriors past and present keep marching forward, I pray that God watches over. This ground has swelled beyond its needs,  it’s a job so please don’t bleed.

Life is threatened globally, humanity or just plain stupidity. We are supposed to be a race of superior beings yet we practice with ease at becoming savages. These days we can do almost anything, let’s start by stopping all the killing and atrocities.

People crossing boarders because they can’t survive their war torn countries. Threats of war all over todays news feeds. Are we so close to world war 3?. This is 2020 not the damn dark ages.

We can’t even get along with each other yet we scan the skies for life. Honestly, would we offer them in with open arms? . They’d take one look, turn around and find a more peaceful world.  Probably take an alien invasion for everyone to stand up to save  our planet before we believe we can actually live in peace together.
  It’s about time our leaders got their houses in order before some godly force descends and does it for us.
Lee David Wright

“They say the pen is mightier than the sword, let’s all become Superheroes”

Change Minds….. By Lee David Wright

Change Minds…..

I’m just like you, your just different in so many ways, regardless of looks, colour, religion, we still bleed the same. You may own a private jet, drive 2020 sport’s cars, I drive a shed with wheels but I’ll still hold a door open, manners cost nothing, regardless.

I might lack your silver spoons, extra blankets had too keep me warm. Your bank balance maybe higher than I’ve ever been but have you seen some of the glorious pics I’ve walked in-between.

Life challenges, you manage effortlessly whilst I perform a balancing act like that’s how life’s supposed to be.  These hands cut steel, that steel cuts me, you cut a deal, I didn’t get that chance but I’m still working at life.

  One day your not going to wake up, happens to all of us. I know that doesn’t take a genius. You might be flying high but believe me we’re all heading in the same direction, you can’t buy that last extra breath, make the most of the priceless ones we get.

I know you don’t know me but ask yourself this would you allow yourself too. Is that divide just too far apart, are you apparently better because your cut from a different cloth or is that a lie you’ve sadly become accustomed to.
The rich get richer, we survive.  You either have more than enough dough or live life on the bread line, doesn’t mean you deserve it, just means you got lucky or faced life with a definite lack of it.

Take a good look around but first look into the mirror.  Self made billionaires, hats off to you but you can’t buy happiness, love, respect, that’s earnt, given not  purchased like some sort of annual subscription.

Governments hiding behind the ones they let us elect, puppets with strings pulled behind their velvet curtains. Wars because they have more minerals, why do they die too fill up our vehicles.
The list is endless, deep greedy pockets. Privalaged individuals pillaging the rest of us. It’s a shame we have to become rich or famous before people start  listening, wonder how many people have the heart to agree even share this.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not jealous of your wealth, your personal toys, your house. I might never eat in the same fancy restaurants, spend fortunes but I’ve lived, count my fortune with what I hold on my heartstrings. Yes we all live such different lives, depends how we live it that, “Changes Minds”.

Lee David Wright

I Applaud YOU, You Survived….. By L D Wright

I Applaud You, You Survived…..

Unpredictable moments stick, almost haunt us. The times life changed and challenged us. We didn’t break, we thought we couldn’t handle it,  guess again, you’ve got this.

We’ve fought battles we didn’t intend to be a part of, life chose to pick on us but we don’t have to be held responsible, sometimes events happen, we are not prisoners, don’t let it dictate the outcome no matter the heartache that found you.

Life challenges  the best of us, makes or breaks us.  Stand up, this walk is one you’ll make regardless. The calm before the storm  surrounds you, before you realise the life you lived disowned you. Don’t let it take you down the paths you’ll definitely become lost on, I’ve been there so plan your routes, choose another one.

I’ve been left with scars from the battles I became part of, some brought me down  to levels I didn’t recognise, even mirrors hid it from plain sight. Life’s not about what you’ve been dragged through, it’s all about today before it left you. You didn’t change, life taught you.

Forgive, forget, only choices we are left with. The one we see today broke the  chains that shackled, you carried on and I appload you. Days are always darker just before the dawn, be thankful you get another chance, another sun.

Your here for a short time so make each given count. Pray to your God’s if that gives you strength. At the end of the day you get one chance. Look back on days that made you fight back, life can be a struggle but also a miracle to have tried, look again, You Survived.

By, Lee David Wright

In Warm Loving Hands by L D Wright

In Warm Loving Hands…..

I’ve fought with my thoughts, the presents I would have given, knowing full well they’d never be opened. Searched for the smiles I’d hoped to have seen, missed all the laughter we’d have shared without thinking.

Looked to the skies, watching the clouds floating around, made out the pictures before merging from sight.

Starred deeply into nights blackened skies, scanned for the stars, those glistening twinkles show me just were you are. I often speak to the air that surrounds me, hoping your voice flutters by to reply me. My hands always open for you to hold on to, sometimes I feel yet my eyes never see you. If only a visit could be arranged, they’re now just the thoughts I live with today.

Still makes me smile to see their little eyes light such a shame yours closed before we shared our best times. So long ago now but still hurts today when my angels left but daddy stayed.

So once again later when the stars start to shine I’ll talk to the heavens whilst holding your hands. I miss you more than I ever thought possible, close my eyes whilst I secretly hold you.

To any parent, family member out there that lives with this pain, I feel you, don’t let it take all of your smiles, think of the memories you hold in your heart. At any time it all becomes hard look to the heavens and search out their stars..

I know it’s a task, I know tears will fall but love lasts forever, those thoughts never go. That memory, those smiles we were lucky to have found , keeping the best ones we carry around. They may have left us but they stay in your heart. Just keep going forward like that cloud changing picture,make every day different.

Today’s just a memory of how much we miss you. Today we returned to yesterday’s smiles and the times that I held you in warm loving hands.
Lee David Wright

“Play nicely until we meet again”
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