If you’re looking into my words you’ll have recognised I’ve been through a lot of pain, my life has been a battle of depression. I fell into my writing and relived the past ordeals in high definition to a point I was back to the screams of yesterdays. If I’m honest it’s been a cry for help. I don’t talk enough about how I’m truly actually feeling. I write about my past, my issues and if you’ve read all my blog you’ll understand how much pain I’ve carried around. My blog isn’t that old but the words are me over the last twenty plus years, some going back towards my days of a three year old. Diving back into my mind brought me face to face with a few demons that didn’t play nicely. My words became the dark side of my Darkest Journal. It pains me to admit it but if I hadn’t have written the way I have and managed to paint the pictures of hell that poured out of my mind then today you would never have seen or read anything of me, my life, I went so dark that I contemplated Suicide. The thoughts where only brief but gathering around me. I knew had I not wrote to show how much of a shit storm I was being dragged around in I would have ended my life or at least tried to. It’s a sad state of affairs when my head was rattling chains so fierce yet I was still to afraid to admit it to anyone, even those closest to me.
I’m looking into the future with hope and strength to work on myself a little harder. I’ve got a good track record to help me beat this so I’m fairly confident. My writing for a short time may dwindle whilst I take stock of the shadows and puzzles Ive brought back to life. I might even try writing about something completely different, who knows but to whoever is reading this right now, please if you’re in any kind of situation that you need help then please let someone know, a friend, a partner,your family your doctor, you owe it yourself to seek help before you can’t get out of the shadows that may/will start to surround you.
I hope the yesterday’s we’ve all been through take you into tomorrow’s with a positive, happier outcome. Remember asking for HELP is not a weakness, if you need it that’s enough, if you can’t talk, write it but DO NOT HIDE it away because it will become more powerful than you’ll ever realise. If my words help atleast one person out there then I can smile a whole heap more. I needed to write to acknowledge I myself needed to take steps in the right direction and it led me here. Time to take a short break and breath a little. Keep safe everyone and be true to yourself.
P.s it does not matter what life deals you, it’s all about how you yourself deals with life. You are not alone and you have the safety of your own voice, use it and you can achieve any impossible task. Whatever your background, your status, rich, poor, race, religion life can fill you with nightmares or glorious sunsets. You can be whatever you want to be just breath, you can do this. Don’t fear your past just look towards the now, the future and you will be in a better place. Talk about your issues, please help those who suffer, be true, being nice, positive and helpful will create a healthy brilliance that will infect those and yourself around you. Be patient, be humble, we are all human, we all need help. Be a better you. It’s that easy.