I often fall into my past, dragged back in fact. From the highest peak too the lowest depths. Falling towards the savage reminders, embracing the impact with devastating consequences.
Led motionless until the thoughts flood, just another nightmare without my eyes closed. Never underestimate the power of the mind, it bends too ridiculous points, plays scenes you thought you’d left behind. Traps you in the darkness where you’ll find yourself locked in battle with your demons.
It doesn’t hold back it’s as serious as cancer. Mood changing, obliterating, hides the smiles but heightens the fears, the tears, confused states year on year, a constant reminder that rips at the layers until it finally uncovers the scars that life gave us.
Bare, broken moments that live amongst us. Trying hard to find the remedy before this illness takes hold and screams out the rage that engulfs those around us. Going insane whilst smiling, hiding the tears that bite like ice cold daggers.
Unable to talk for fear of breaking, not realising your already broken. Silence seems to be the way, inside your screaming, the noise deafening but nobody hears it. Like walking around in a festival of demons torturing your mind, crippling your sences, ending the beginning before it starts playing.
Eyes closed, fists clenched, praying this ends. A front row ticket, a solo performance, the spot lights glaring as you fall into darkness, despair wraps its ugly grip around you. A non stop permanent abuse of what happens when life tests you.
Held in a constant state of disbelief, terrified the horror stays. Pushing forward, taking back this fight, lighting up the shadows so the demons no longer hide. Ripping up the darkness letting the sunshine cloak the past, learning whatever tried to break you actually didn’t take your heart.
Standing up and walking right on through no matter if the demons tag along, trying to follow you. If life slips, sidestep, stop, adjust, take your time. Learn from yourself and how you’ve coped, listen to your voice, the one inside, it’ll tell you everything you need to know when life earnt you deep scars from all the low blows.
Dark thoughts washed in sunshine, new plans going forward on your time line. A new you with an old story too tell but one that writes a better version filled with smiles. You can use your past too rebuild your future watching as your demons fade into Invisible Segments.
Use your Memories and rewind to smiles, cover the sad tones with happier occasions. Remember the next time you fall, head towards the positive side and relive those moments like you once did. You can achieve any impossible task no matter what came to brake us.
Lee David Wright